Saturday, April 30, 2011

Sometimes we all need a little inspiration

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Things that inspire me…

Right now I need some inspiration. With finals here all my fears come to the surface. My fear of failure. Of what will happen if I fail and how it will effect not just me but also my daughter. It is currently trying to consume me. I feel this need to throw in the towel and run as far and as fast as I can….or to just shut down. These feelings are painful, actually feeling these feelings instead of hiding them are even more painful.

These fears with school open the doors for other fears. Can I do this? Can I really do a half marathon? Who am I trying to fool into thinking I can, what do I have to prove? Does anyone believe in me? Will it Matter? These questions can quickly spiral from just uncertainty to complete self doubt. I have often felt in my life that whatever I do either is not good enough or I am expected to fail at by those most important to me. The people who I truly believed did not expect me to fail at my goals are no longer here, my Grandmother and Mother. They were my defenders, my guardians.

Dealing with clinical major depressive disorder has caused me many setbacks in life. While I have always eventually ask for help, It has at times consumed me to the point of causing some major problems in my life. It has lead me to my highest weights, cost me a relationship and had a huge impact on school. I know the things to do to take care of myself but when these feelings come creeping back up sometimes it can be so very hard to do those things. It can be paralyzing, literally. Once again we come back to treating both sides of that coin. If you don’t treat the emotional side of things the physical side wont happen either. We have to feel these feelings that got us here. That is not an easy thing to do at all!

My Mother used to always say(and even kept it taped to her mirror)

“We can’t help the way we feel, only the way we think and act.”
What that meant to her was that your feelings are yours, own them, you are allowed to feel anything. The power we hold is not in the feelings its in our actions and how we let ourselves think about those feelings. Do we choose to act out on our feelings, will that be a good thing or not? Do we allow ourselves to batter our minds with all the  negative self talk? It can be a very hard choice but we can stand up for ourselves, to ourselves.

Sometimes I find myself slipping back into those old habits, into the negative self talk and have to fight to bring myself back. I have to be my own champion, which is sometimes easier said than done. What do I fight with? Friends, music, writing, trips, fun time with my daughter…we have to use whatever weapons we have. Lately my biggest weapon against my negative self is writing. Writing heals me. Writing is my sanity. It may not always make sense to other people, and sometimes even to me when I go back and read it but it heals me. Find what heals you.

One of my April #gothedist goals was to write at least 20 days. Im sure you can see by blog post alone I more than covered that. Words comfort me. A good book can take me on a vacation, help me learn about myself or teach me a subject I didn’t know. Writing words gives me release. This does not work for everyone but something will. Find what brings you back to your center.

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

P.S.
Don’t forget to check out the giveaway going on right now I am running through next week! I also have a few more lined up already so stay tuned.

Get your sweat on (a giveaway)

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Ok, while slightly blurry…I <3 this picture!

Now for what you really want! A give away!

In my new found discovery of the need to become a runner I have discovered…man there is a lot of gear you can use! Sometimes the simplest thing like keeping sweat from running in your eyes makes all the difference. And hey why not look stylish when doing it!

When I first spoke with bondiband I have to admit I was a bit skeptical that this was any different than your average wide headband you could pick up at just about any store. Also, many head bands and hats I just flat out can not wear. My head is apparently large..and I’m really sensitive to pressure so most give me a headache. Bondiband seemed different right when I got it. First, it was not the material that you may be used to getting in these type of wrap around head bands. Best I can describe it reminds me of the material used in dance leotards. I was also surprised it was not tight at all, but somehow managed to fit perfectly and stay in place.  Ok let’s try this bad boy out!

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Test run loungin around the house

First impression; don’t I look like I mean business….humm no headache yet. Kid’s impression…”where’d ya get that, can I have it…when can I wear it”. I wore it for an hour or two around the house just to make sure it was not going to give me a headache, surprisingly it didn’t. I also liked the nice width that worked well with my short hair. It covered enough that I didn’t feel like I looked silly wearing it while also masking the fact that I didn’t feel like fixing my hair that day(bonus points for that Winking smile )There is nothing worse than getting a headache half way through a good workout and not wanting to take off the band or hat. This had earned bondiband a trial at the gym. (that is if I could wrangle it away from the kid)

I have to admit at the gym I was impressed but not so impressed. It did wonders for sweat and I almost wished it covered my entire face it did so well. I found it to be a little hot, but it was hot in my gym that day anyways so I decided to give it another shot the  next day on the trails outside. Outside on the trails I wore it slightly higher on my forehead, between that and the nice breeze that the gym was surely lacking it was quite comfortable.
I have since worn it a few more times…and the kid has worn it. She still wants to know when I am ordering her some. Overall I have to say I’m pretty happy with the product so here’s the fun part….I’m giving one away to you!

Official rules and entries and all that jazz….

    • Entry will be accepted through May 6th @ 5pm eastern
    • 6 ways to enter leave a SEPARATE comment for each entry!
    • Winner will be chosen through a random generator
    • Winner will get their bondiband headband of choice 

How to Enter:Leave a comment for each entry separately (or comment if you already do!)


Winner will be notified through email, so make sure and leave it! Winner must provide me with shipping address and which band they would like within 48 hours of winning or I will choose another winner.

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M



***This Giveaway has now ended and comments are closed ***


Disclosure Statement: Thank you to BondiBand for providing me with this AWESOME product to review the opinions presented in this review are 100% mine.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Hey, Have you heard???

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{photo cred}

Prior Fat Girl Mom nomination voting is up! Go check out all 9 wonderful stories, including my own and vote for you favorite!!! Voting Ends Tomorrow!

Linky link

Happy Reading

 

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

M

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Emerging

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“ Learn to fly, so you can soar! “

Sometimes we get so caught up in the now or the doing of this journey itself we forget where we were when we started. We get impatient that nothing is happening when in reality, something big is happening. Little small changes are happening with our choices ever day leading to those physical and mental changes we want/need. If we keep working we are slowly becoming the person we are meant to be!

This morning on my daily blog jaunt while reading Elle’s another priorfatgirl’s blog I was reminded of this. Right now I’m in a really good place. I'm putting in lots of effort and feeling great most of the time. I have this feeling lately that amazing things are happening in my life. School finally feels like I’m getting somewhere, Life Off the D List is doing well, Life in general is going fairly well. For once I am seeing these changes happening and taking the time to appreciate them. I have big plans for my future and I know there will be lots of hard work involved, but I’m ready to take it on. Now if they could just happen in my time instead of God’s time. Impatient much, yep that can be me at times. They say good things come to those who wait, but it’s not just about waiting, you can not just sit and wait. If you want these things to happen you have to be willing to do what it will take to get there. Sometimes it takes a long, long time. If we keep working at it though it will happen. This is so hard to remember sometimes.

There is a reason this has to be a life style. There are not quick fixes for anything in life. What may seem like a miracle quick fix just about always turns out to be little more than a band aid. Band aids tend to hurt when they get ripped off, I need a permanent fix. To get this I have to change almost everything about who I am. Clearly I was not born a runner, but I will be one. I was  not taught to do mindful eating, I was taught when your sad/mad/happy/sleepy/bored here, here is something to make you feel better. I was not taught that its ok to talk about your emotions, but now I do. I didn’t grow up learning balance in life, but I’m finding it. Maybe this is as much a pep talk for me as motivation for you but the truth is if you keep working AMAZING things will happen. Work hard, keep going! Emerge as that beautiful butterfly that lays dormant within you.

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

The story of Bob

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Ok if you happen to be on my twitter or facebook you may have herd about Bob. Bob is a caterpillar my daughter found and brought home from her Dad’s last weekend. The events that took place within the first hour were documented on facebook and I just had to share. Today we discovered Bob in his cristalis this morning and my child could not have been more excited.

When Bob first came home all was well, but we had an initial scare. Winking smile


 

Apparently blogging has become such a part of my life now that my daughter insisted I share the picture of him in his pupas on my blog. I figured that you all just could not live without the back story either haha!

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Family…

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“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”

 Anthony Brandt quotes

 

Well All my super motivation has finally waned. The stress of the end of the semester, finals, the holiday and end of the month bills has set in. Thankfully none of my exams are back to back so that will ease things.

 

The Easter holiday is bitter sweet this year. While I enjoyed time with my family yesterday, I miss my Dad. Well I miss having parents at all really. The one year anniversary of my fathers death is coming up in less than 6 weeks and needless to say I wish I could just skip past it. I find myself jealous of the things my Aunts and Uncles do with their individual families. It hurts my feelings when I feel forgotten, like when I don’t get called to tell when, where and if we are doing anything for Easter until the day before.  The holidays bring up all kinds of emotions. With both my parents gone, being single and an only child, the holidays leave me with moments where I feel very isolated and alone. I have tried mentioning to my Aunts my desire to be included in their individual families more, but it doesn't happen. I don’t like asking to be included…I want them to remember and want to ask me and not just feel  like I have interjected myself into the situation. It makes me feel like im winning and all “woe is me, poor Misty”.

 

I desperately miss having the option that if I just want to get out of the house I could just go over to one of my parents houses. No calling, no not knowing what's going on to have to even wonder if they are home, no asking …just being able to show up and walk in. No agenda really other than to stare at their walls instead of mine and have some company and adult conversation.

 

All of this has left me the past few days just kind of existing. All the oomph I had discovered these past few weeks has been sucked out. While I haven stopped working out  or gone back to emotional eating…I feel like I’m just not pushing as hard or really putting in the effort. I feel like im just going through the motions. I know I will not always go at 110% and I need to feel these emotions and heal. This doesn't mean I like it. These last few weeks have felt grate and these last few days have sucked. Hopefully this funk will wear off within the next day or so with the distraction of finals.

 

(side note..wow this was really not the post I intended)

 

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Easter Holiday

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

M

Saturday, April 23, 2011

#Ddaywithoutshoes

repost :

For #Ddaywithoutshoes

Ddaywithoutshoes

Joing me for a Life off the D List Day with out shoes. Many of you may have heard of Toms shoes and their Day with out shoes campaign. You may or may not also know that for every pair of shoes bought they give another pair to a child who cant afford shoes. While they had an official dayApril 5th I missed that boat and still wanted to bring awareness to this cause. This is about raising awareness for those who have to go without. As a type 1 diabetic shoe’s are very valuable to me. I can not imagine living life not able to afford shoe’s.

Toms Fact:
Hundreds of Millions of Children are at Risk Of injury, infection and sole transmitted diseases that most cant afford to prevent and treat.
Here is all you have to do….
Sign up here : RSVP
May 2 don’t wear shoes and when ask why tell people!
absolutely cant go without shoes that day, no worries RSVP virtually and still spread the word!

That’s it!
Also don’t forget to Tweet or Facebook #Ddaywithoutshoes

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

Friday, April 22, 2011

So Far, So Good

April so far

 

This month as been amazing and its not even over yet! I feel like I have been kicking ass and taking names. See those miles up there, I did those! I still look at my totals and sit in amazement, and the month is not even over. I will probably, if I keep up at the same rate, add another 20 or so miles to that total. What’s really awesome is most of those are outside on the trails. I have become addicted to the trails and outside workouts. (some were bike or swimming but  not many) While my half marathon coming up in June may be more of a walk than a run I have the confidence I can do it now.

 

This month has been all about me. I have been selfish and made me time first. My #gothedist goals  were to do 30 miles walk/run/elliptical and to do at least 20 journal/blog entries. I will be making goal this month. All the writing has helped me keep on track for sure. It’s a really hard thing to do, but sometimes we need to be selfish and put ourselves first. I know if you have been reading my post or following my Twitter I have been a bundle of positiveness. I can’t contain it, I feel amazing.I have missed having energy like this. Has it been easy every day, no, but I did it. The days it I had to fight to make myself do it, afterwards I felt so much better. I finally saw some movement on the scale this week, but more importantly I see physical changes when I look in the mirror. The combination of 5-6 workouts a week and all the writing is working for me. It is taking care of both sides of the healthy lifestyle coin.

 

I can not stress enough how important it is to work on your emotional health as well as the physical health on this journey. I promise you, you will be more successful if you do. You will be less stressed, you will get better results.

 

Another thing that has really helped me this month is reading a book by Geneen Roth called “When Food is Love”. While I cried through the first half of this book  it changed me. I know everyone boast about her “Women, Food and God” (which I'm reading now, slowly but surely) but this other book was like my golden ticket. My eating has changed, I feel like I am experiencing true hunger for the first time in my adult life and only eating when I am hungry…not because I'm sad, bored, stressed, happy. Call this mindful eating or intuitive eating or whatever you like but what it is not anymore is emotional eating.

 

I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter weekend, Happy Good Friday. My weekend will be filled with quiet time, trail time, family time and studying for finals next week.

 

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

M

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

7 miles

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This is me doing 7 miles….on purpose!

I have never in my life wanted to go distances like these before now. Seven miles, me. I am starting to feel like my upcoming Half Marathon is a reality, that it is going to happen, and I wont completely embarrass myself.

With all this  new found outdoor freedom I find I am also becoming quite picky. I like going early in the morning not mid day or even in the evenings. I like when there is almost no one there, but if there are people there I enjoy the ones walking their doggies and all the doggie cuteness. I have also discovered that if I am going to keep doing this I am going to need to make some investments.  New shoe’s being first on that list, I think mine are getting worn out. (another first for me)

One of the challenges of these longer distances is once again my diabetes. I have been playing around with several products like gel’s and gummies, today I think I found a winner. I used the Cliff Shot Blocks today and they worked a lot better than I expected. The other products I have tried don’t seem to give me a lasting level blood sugar, these did. I started out having 2 before and then two every mile or so the first few miles. I think next time I will just do every 2 miles instead. What I used today turned out to be to much. I had been having a problem with low’s about half way through, Not today though. FINALLY. Treating lows is very annoying during a workout, they always seem to happen right as you get into that perfect zone forcing you to stop. They were also the perfect size and easy to carry.

In case your wondering, NO Cliff did not ask me to try these, they are not behind my post. While that would have been nice and saved me $4 this is just me as a type 1 diabetic trying to find something that keeps me safe on these longer workouts.

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some little friends I found

Overall it was a good workout. I did have some pain in my knee’s and it could have been a little cooler Smile.

I hope everyone is having an awesome week, Finals for me next week!

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

Monday, April 18, 2011

Revelation through pictures …

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

Today after my swim I decided to take advantage of the full length mirror in the locker room while no one was in there. Lets face it when overweight we try to avoid things like full length mirror’s, locker rooms, and bathing suits. This journey is about honesty for me though, and sometimes that requires being uncomfortable. (like when taking progress pictures in a bathing suite) Ever since I snapped these a few hours ago I have had this argument going on in my head…to post or  not to post. I can just look at them no one will even know I took them…no you need to post them. You get the picture( pun intended lol).
Well If you read my last post you know me and the scales are not talking right now and I was not happy with the lack of movement last week. I also am not happy with where the GD2011 (great depression 2011) put me back out of Onederland and just over into the twosomes. The strangest thing happened when I was looking at the pictures I loaded today and the ones  I took back in February. I look smaller. Whaaaaat…but I weigh more??? Look again…something has just got to be wrong with this computer. Look one more time…clean my glasses..look again. I do look smaller. now im only about 6-8 lbs. heaver than back in February but post GD2011 I have been working my butt off. (apparently literally) As much as I just loveeee full body shots of myself, much less ones that involve a bathing suite, take a look for yourself.

Feb to April 2011 

And the suite fits better to than last summer when I first got it….it feels more like a swim suit and less like one of those shapers.

Feb to April 2011 front

Seeing pictures like this is so strange to me. I mean I knew I was a big girl when I started this journey my pants were a very tight 18 or 20 and are now a 14 but I just didn’t think I looked that big. Its amazing what the right camera angle and lack of full length mirror’s can do for you. I really wish I had taken pictures like this when I started so I could see the full 20ish pound difference so far.

The best part although looking smaller sure is nice is I feel so much better! I have energy for the first time in years.

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M


p.s. Excuse the pool hair!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Join me….

For #Ddaywithoutshoes

Ddaywithoutshoes

Joing me for a Life off the D List Day with out shoes. Many of you may have heard of Toms shoes and their Day with out shoes campaign. You may or may not also know that for every pair of shoes bought they give another pair to a child who cant afford shoes. While they had an official dayApril 5th I missed that boat and still wanted to bring awareness to this cause. This is about raising awareness for those who have to go without. As a type 1 diabetic shoe’s are very valuable to me. I can not imagine living life not able to afford shoe’s.

Toms Fact:
Hundreds of Millions of Children are at Risk Of injury, infection and sole transmitted diseases that most cant afford to prevent and treat.
Here is all you have to do….
Sign up here : RSVP
May 2 don’t wear shoes and when ask why tell people!
absolutely cant go without shoes that day, no worries RSVP virtually and still spread the word!

That’s it!
Also don’t forget to Tweet or Facebook #Ddaywithoutshoes

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

No phoning it in here…

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One Day I will earn all these for my car!

Lately I feel like a new person. I actually have energy for the first time in years. YEARS! Since before 2007….4 years ago. When I started having problems with my endometriosis before I ended up having a hysterectomy at 26, I was exhausted all the time. I felt drained all the time. I felt like this even after my surgery for the last 4 years. While I still don’t feel like the a person with the energy level I had say 5 years ago, I actually HAVE energy. Between working out and being on the rite meds I feel so much more capable. This week was proof that I am capable of all this work I need..want..have to do. In the past 7 days I have put in over 20 miles, mostly on foot, 6 were bike and a tiny bit of lap swimming. Twenty. Two. Zero.  I cant believe it! I also did 5 days of workouts. The two days I didn’t do any workout were because I was doped up on pain meds due to having oral surgery. This amazes me.

All that being said even though I'm trying not to focus on the scale right now, I cant seem to help but get on it. This morning I just new I was going to see some change….nothing. No loss. Just the same 2lb variance I have been seeing the past couple weeks. I am not happy I'm back over that 200 mark and 204 does not sit well with me. I want that 2 gone! For good! Yes, yes I know it wont happen over night but I expect to see something this week. My eating as even been on target. Me and that “2” are not friends and she needs to hit the road. So this week there will be some changes. Keeping up the workout pace and back to basics like tracking my water and forcing myself to take the extra time to do some strength training. I want to add weights to 3 days this week. I HATE doing weights. I find it boring.

While I have come to the realization I would almost prefer to do cardio alone, weights I wish I had a gym buddy. Cardio I like to put Girl Talk on as loud as possible and get in my zone.
On a side note I am beginning to wonder If I am capable of working out without my Girl Talk Smile with tongue out (If you don’t know who they are it’s a free down load that rocks, and is NOT just for girls). When I have tried lately to do a different playlist even an upbeat one I find myself switching over to Girl Talk.
Weights on the other hand I want someone to talk to, to push me through those last reps. I love doing weights the 2 trainer sessions I have had. If you can afford a trainer, get one! On a student budget a trainer is not included. I need a gym buddy, but my schedule is so different where I'm in school it just doesn't seem to work with anyone I know. Sad smile

This week I’m shooting for 5 days of workouts again and 3 also doing strength training. I want to make sure im getting in all my water and keep working on the mindful eating. I hope the weather allows for a few outdoors workouts, as I have become addicted. I have also learned that the park I go to has free bikes you can borrow! Score! That half marathon goal of mine is only getting closerSmile

I hope everyone has an amazing week!

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

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A workout and some Queens

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All our fortunes from Bff's bday dinner 

Its been a busy Mommy weekend off. After I dropped my Daughter off Friday to go to her Dad’s  I came home and killed some time before I went for my trail walk because I had a friend that was supposed to go with me. Sometimes I seriously wonder why I try to make plans with other people to workout. It never seems to work out(pun intended) and it can be very frustrating. It has nothing to do with ending up doing it alone, I like doing a workout alone it gives me time to work through all the junk in my head. The problem is in my planning and pre-gaming for a specific workout. With type 1 diabetes I have to have a pretty good idea of what I am going to be doing, for how long and when I plan on getting started. There are certain things I do to make sure I can safely workout and hopefully avoid having to treat a low.

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why YES I am wearing a JoBro backpack since my Daughter lost my normal one lol

I try not to bitch to much because, well its my problem not theirs and I ask them to come. I do at the least expect them to answer their phone when they are late or let me know beforehand they wont make it…not an hour after I have waited on them. I really don’t think that is to much to ask. Needless to say while I did end up doing my workout alone Friday and my pre-gaming combined with the no-show did send me a little high I still got my workout in. Not quite the workout I had planned but oh well. Just one of those things that drive me crazy. If you cant come fine, just let me know.
Now for the fun stuff! We had some horrendous storms Saturday which meant that my  planned outdoor workout I desperately needed to make up for Friday night didn’t happen. I’m talking tornado warnings and all. I still made it to the gym though for a quickie. I had to make sure I had plenty of time to get ready to go out to dinner at P.F. Chang’s  for my BFF’s birthday and after we were going to a drag show at Warehouse 29!

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Getting ready for a night out with the girls!

Now this was a new thing for me, I have never been to a gay club or seen a drag show other than on tv even though I have friends that are Queens. I have to say even as a straight gal it was so much fun! Unlike a regular club you didn’t have all the groups of attemptingtolookperfectbitchy girls, everyone was just there to have a good time. No one cared if you were fat, skinny, black, white, purple (or flaming red in my case with tha hair!), gay, bi, straight whatever…they were just happy you were there and wanted you to have as good of a time as they did. I got to see an old friend from elementary/middle school I haven't seen in almost 10 years who is also one of the performers there and we danced like fools. What more could you ask for on a girls night out. We had a blast, and I will definitely be going back again. I'm feelin it some today, can’t hang like I used to, but it was so worth it. Sorry no more pictures, I forgot my camera at home Sad smile.

I guess that’s it for your weekend in review
Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A quick HI!

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Inga, Sweet doggie gettin her exercise in on my run Friday

Just a quick Hi!

This week once again has been crazy but has also been completely amazing! I was in the Dblog Tribune, Made a sweet signature that Jen, a priorfatgirl will now be using and she mentioned  me for it(thanks Jen), my post on PFG went up, Jack Sh*t posted my picture for his W.I.D.T.H. Saturday post and I have worked out 5 times. Yes you read that correctly 5! I have put in almost 30 miles between walking/eliptical/bikeing this month already! This puts me at 60% of my #gothedist goals for the month not even counting the bike miles. This week I feel like all that I do with Life off the D list actually matters and makes a difference. Ok off to go get ready for my BFF’s birthday dinner and then a drag showSmile


Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Awesomeness


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“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.
 
Today started out like any other day for the most part except for the problem with my mouth. I had to go Tuesday for what I thought was just going to be fixing a filling and they ended up surgically extracting the tooth. Where it  had gotten loose it had gotten a cavity under it and gotten infected. NOT what I planned. oh well It was a back tooth. Anyways, due to the fact that I have been on some serious pain meds the past couple days and you arent exactly supposed to drive with them I stayed home from class today.

So this morning I’m haning out on tweetdeck, checking facebook and reading blogs when I get this tweet:
elgringoinspain: The Dblog Tribune is out! http://bit.ly/cISDeq รข–¸ Top stories today via @gda_cio @sweetlyvoiced @jdrfqueen @offthedlistm @ninjabetic
Apparently The Dblog Tribune had gotten wind of my Type 1 workout blog a couple days ago when I tweeted it and it is now published on there page.

That is Awesomeness right there in my book. 

No, its not like a printed paper or I get paid for it or anything but it is huge stuff to me. I was so excited!
Shortly after this Jen, a priorfatgirl also sent out a tweet about wanting a new signature. Now you all know PFG holds a special place for me and also I love doing graphic design stuff so I tweeted back and got details of what she wanted. Needless to say she now has an awesome new signature by D List M that should be appearing soon in a blog near you (ok in her blog lol). She loved it and I have to say it is pretty spiffy. This was actually something I went to school for at one point many many moons ago, its in my blood; My mom used to own her own graphic design business. It was just something fun and helping out a friend but again this is huge stuff for me. I was beyond ecstatic that she actually liked it.
There is some other big news coming potentially but I can’t quite divulge that yet, so you will just have to stay tuned.
Clearly with all my mouth stuff going on and being on these supper pills they call pain meds there has been no workout yesterday or the day before. Tuesday though I put in an amazing 5 miles again though. Well the first 2 sucked, it was humid, but the last 3 were absolutely amazing.

I also had a dream last night that is worth mentioning about seeing a broken up rear view mirror. To me this symbolizes that I am ready to let go and stop looking to the past.
I hope everyone has a great weekend, I know mine will be. Big stuff going on Friday and BFF’s bday celebration Saturday including dinner and a drag show! I have never been to a drag show before but it should be fun.

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

and Just because I know how much you all love my new hair color here are a few more pictures :)


 
 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wordless Wednesday…


Pictures of where I have been running lately…..

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Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

And as a bonus…..

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New Hair Color :)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

What it means to workout with type 1


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Me and My friend Jamie at the JDRF Walk for a Cure 5K

Planning, and lots of it. Type 1 Diabetes  complicates everything, but especially things that require physical activity. While you can plan all you want sometimes that still is not enough, low’s happen. There is nothing more frustrating that really getting in the groove of a great workout and hitting that sweet spot to only start feeling low and have to stop to treat. There is also something that feels very wrong about eating or drinking something that has the fast acting carbs in it to either keep you stable or bring you back up when you are working out(for me anyways it does). I am still new to this game being diagnosed as an adult at 27 just two and a half years ago.

When I first started working out with type 1 it was (and still can be) very scary. I was in a swimming for fitness class at school 3x a week. These classes would drop my bg an average of around 100 points then. I have never been much of a breakfast eater and for this I had to eat to prepare my body. (I was not pumping at this point) This would usually involve about 45 to 60 medium and slow acting carbs and then depending on my glucose level right before possibly another 15ish. Even now that I am pumping I still have to “pre-game” and depending on what I’m doing take in additional carbs as I'm working out. Low’s still happen from time to time, its just the nature of diabetes. EVERYTHING effects your bg and there is  no magic formula to get it right every time when it comes to anything.

Some of the tools that can help are things like a Continuous Glucose  Monitor system. It will alarm if it thinks you are dropping to fast or if you are low. The problem is that these are very, very expensive and even if your insurance covers them(which mine doesn't) they may not cover the reoccurring monthly charges for sensors that you wear. The systems themselves range around a few thousand dollars and then the sensor’s cost around $60 each. These are only FDA approved to wear for 3-7 days depending on the brand. Your alternative is just to do extra checks and use more of those also valuable glucose strips which cost about $1 each. While it is a much cheaper alternative I go through about 300 a month. Thankfully most insurances do cover these! But they also limit them(which makes no sense to me, come on really who wants to test more than they have to) You can also use products like gel’s and glucose tabs to help maintain your glucose level while working out. Its all a balancing act on a fine tight rope.

Now that I am doing longer workouts and preparing for my half marathon in June I am working on fine tuning my “plan”. Unlike being in a gym I have to be able to carry everything I might need when I do outside run’s. This can get interesting. I need to purchase one of the many belts available that can give me a place to store everything but on a students budget it’s not happening right now. So if you see me running and I stop and dig a meter out of a pocket or my bra feel free to laugh….there is no telling what else I have stored in there. Smile

While working out with diabetes is a challenge it is completely doable. You can always work with your doctor, nutritionist or certified diabetes educator to help you fine tune things. Don’t let diabetes stop you. Hit the pavement!

"Success is a journey, not a destination."
Ben Sweetland

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

Half Fail

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“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans”
John Lennon 

Let’s just say things did not go as planned Monday. I had planned to get up and go for a run outside after I got munchkin off to school. I had planned on getting to class on time. Neither Happened. 

I overslept and ended up having to take my daughter to school instead of her ridding the bus which took an hour away from my morning time before class almost. Desperately wishing and almost deciding to push my workout off till after class and just do the gym instead of outdoors. Then I remembered I had an appointment with her school so that really wouldn’t work either. I also knew that deciding to do it after she got out of school and the likelihood of actually driving back into town my chances were not good. I decided to suck down some coffee, grab some breakfast, crank some tunes to get me going and Just suck it up and hit the gym before class.

This was still going to cut my time short so I also decided to skip my first class, all the notes get posted anyways and I cant understand her accent. I get to the gym, things are going great. I push through 20 minuets on the elliptical and move on to the bike…this is where it all came to a screeching halt. My phone goes off and says “nutrition test 10am”, wtf that said today, why am I just now getting that alert, surely I read it wrong. NOPE, not only had I somehow managed to spaz and completely forget I had a test Monday and not studied now here it was 9:57 and I was still at the gym….sweaty and stinky im sure. This was not good. I run grab my bag out of my locker and head to school. Thankfully I was close and only 15 minuets late and still able to take the test! I think this lack of sleep this past week is catching up with me and I have begun to loos my mind lol Smile

Oh well…all is well that ends well. While in no way shape or form did my plan for my day happen everything got done. I took my test,  I burned 600 calories and had another awesome Huge Jass salad for lunch. 

(About that salad, I’m telling you they have never tasted so good! Who knew replacing all the cheese and ranch dressing with healthy yumminess could be so good!)

Back to the intuitive eating I am trying …I have noticed that I am staying full longer and craving healthy goodness vs. junk now. I have also noticed that when I do start to get hungry again I go from hungry to ready to gnaw my own arm off and eat it starving in about 5 seconds. I feel like maybe I am experiencing true fullness and true hunger for the first time instead of hunger because I'm sad/happy/bored/tired. I know I'm not supposed to be looking at the scale really right now starting this but I cant help it and so far its holding steady, no gain. Hopefully with my workouts back on track ill even see a loss!


Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

Monday, April 11, 2011

Mindful eating…

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you're going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Stephen Richards

 

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Lately I have been doing what I like to call my version of mindful eating. A few weeks back before I had started therapy again I was doing some serious emotional eating again resulting in some serious guilt and giving food all my power. Within 2-3 weeks I went from playing around in the 190’s to creeping up back to the 200 mark, surpassing it and seeing 206 again. While waiting on my first therapy session the following week I decided that instead of feeling guilty over what I was eating and why that I was going to let myself have what my body felt I needed. If it was a bunch of comfort foods so be it. I was hurting and food was my old friend I knew I could count on to help me make it to that first therapy session. Now don’t get to excited im not recommending this but this is what I felt like I needed to do right then. The difference with me was I was doing this consciously, If I felt like I needed chocolate I would acknowledge that, feel that and let myself have it while thinking about why I wanted it.

During this time I was also reading When Food is Love by Geneen Roth (her books are amazing if you haven't read them) which talks about why and how we eat emotionally. I cried through the first half of this book while reading about her childhood and relationships. While they were not my exact experiences they brought up some very painful memories that needed to be healed. It took me to that time when I was a child and my association with food as love began. When my parents separated, when my mother stayed drunk all the time, when my friends brother took advantage of me, when my father forgot my birthday. The strange thing was though that in allowing myself to have what my body craved and thought it needed during this time instead of completely binging on everything the binges subsided for the most part. I did not gain back every pound I had lost.

While I had now started my therapy sessions and have made the decision that I need medication right now with my therapist and doctor I was still doing this mindful eating thing. I have  noticed that I am craving less the “junk” and wanting the healthy choices again. Before doing this I would have felt guilty over the huge salad’s I have had this weekend. Guilty, over a salad ..what kind of sense does that make unless of course your loading them up with cheese, bacon and ranch dressing. A salad. A salad with lot’s of veggies, guilty. A salad that is packed full of nutrients my body needs that was the size of a huge cooking bowl would have had that much negative thinking. Instead I was hungry, ate and enjoyed my huge salad and acknowledged that I was providing my body with things that gave me all the nutrients I needed to not only keep me full but give me the energy for things like swimming laps or running 5 miles like I did this weekend. I was still having a hard time not tracking things though and have ended up tracking these past couple days. I have been tracking, though less for my calorie count and more to see how much of my recommended daily nutrients I was getting.

Sunday for example, yes I went over my target calories for the day by a little over 100 extra but I also had an 800 calorie burn that those calories had sustained me through. Now im not saying I can just go crazy and go way over, everything in moderation. Sunday though I needed that little extra. I am actually loosing some of the weight I had gained back a little at a time so for now this is working for me although they say when you first start doing mindful eating not to look at the scale, look at how you feel. I feel amazing.

If you would like to hear an amazing podcast by Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone that talks about mindful or intuitive eating here is a link and of course I also recommend any book by Geneen Roth

Two Fit Chicks Intuitive eating episode:

 

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

M

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Showed you up again…

Ok I know all of you loved the b*tch fest that was my last post but this is a bit more positive lol and what happened after that post…

 

Success does not result from spontaneous combustion, you must first set yourself on fire

 

Agenda completed! I did 45 minuets of laps at the pool and then went to Yoga. Man I have not done laps in a year almost and I forgot how much it takes out of you! Well worth it though with the 803 calorie burn that resulted from today! My blood sugar finally behaved during all this. Diabetes is such a tricky disease and changes on you for sometimes what seems no reason at all throwing a kink in your day but you just have to deal and rock on. This and a cup of tomato soup is what took care of all those pesky downward trends…

 

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A Huge Arse Salad…so big it had to go in one of the large round corny wear dishes. It included spinach, green leaf lettuce, carrots, bell pepper, broccoli, apple, hummus, a few pretzels and some raspberry vinaigrette. It also had some walnuts that didn’t make the picture.  

The yoga class I went to was one of the free ones at my gym…lets just say I was  not impressed. While I don’t think I have to worry about becoming a yogi any time soon I have taken my share of yoga classes, heck I took a whole semesters worth at school. This one sucked in my book; It was not relaxing, it was somewhat fast paced(fast for yoga anyways) and the music was to loud and the girl was using a headset for like 15 people. Hello its yoga, its supposed to be quiet you shouldn’t even need a headset for a class that size. I will not be going back. If I want to do yoga ill pay $10 and go back to the studio I went to last time.

 

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After all of this I came home and in the words of my child “cooked the best dinner ever”. We had oven roasted salmon with cucumber sauce, asparagus also roasted in the oven and chive mash potato's. Can you say Yumm!!!

 

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

M

Just Sayin….

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This entire crazy week for both me and my daughter our diabetes has been a royal pain in the ass! So F.U. Diabetes! F all your lows and highs and middle of the night B.S. I am going to do what I have planned today and damn you for getting in the way…Leave us alone!

 

Agenda:

  • 60 minuet swim
  • 1 hour yoga class

 

Just try and stop me! Oh yea and by the way I will get some sleep tonight.

 

That is all

 

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

M

 

P.S. sorry if this offends anyone but diabetes offends me today

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