Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Perpetuity {Wordless Wednesday}

 

 

alone 2

 

 

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

M

I feel it brewing …

 

alone

 

Change : to make different in some particular : alter  b : to make radically different : transform c: to replace with another d : to make a shift from one to another : switch e : to undergo a modification of f: to become different g: to undergo transformation, transition, or substitution {source}

 

 

Good, bad, in between or all of the above I feel it coming. Change. Right now I don’t know exactly what the future holds but a change is happening. What I do know (feel) is that it won’t be easy, in fact at times it  may feel quite paralyzing and painful but it has to happen. What I have learned from the past is not everyone will understand, some will be hurt, some will embrace the change and tag along for the ride and some will get left behind.  

 

In times like this I am often reminded of this poem:

 

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

 

I love that poem. It’s so true.

 

I fear this change. I fear that it may be one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am ok with this fear, it means I am human and I am alive. I embrace this fear as an opportunity for growth through the fear.  I know it seems like I am talking in code here but truthfully I do  not know or understand everything that is coming, I just feel it happening.

 

I am done living this way. Let me repeat that… DONE!

 

I am starting over, from scratch. It wont be easy, hell it never is, but its time for some joy in my life. It’s time to find that joy again for life.

 

Peace Love and Happy Blogging

M

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Bloggy Blog Update

 

Ok so I have been MIA for quite some time here on Life Off the D List. No I have not given up or gone back to all my old ways or even gained any weight, life has just gotten in the way. School is insane right now, bills are pilling up and I am pretty much the brokest I have ever ever ever been. What does all this mean…stress, Stress, STRESS! I am so busy with school gym time is not happening at ALL, however I am still swimming for my class so I guess that is my saving grace when it comes to gym time. Thanks to all the added stress that is life right now I also have been fighting depression again pretty hard. That big D seems to cause the most problems in my life.

 

Depression is something I have dealt with on and off for the past 10 years of my life, particularly these past 4 years, and especially these past 2 years since the loss of my father. The good news is, I’m still fighting. I have good days/weeks and some really, really bad days/weeks here lately. I’m working with my doctors to make sure my med’s are where they need to be and additionally I have also started HRT (hormone replacement therapy). This seems to be having the biggest effect so far. When I had to have a total hysterectomy due to endometriosis four years ago I had no idea how big of an effect it would have on my life. I have not felt the same since the, my body does not act the same, my mind does not work the same. Since starting HRT a few weeks I have noticed a world of difference. All I can say is I hope I keep continuing to feel better and better!

 

As for my whole healthiness journey lately some days are better than others. Food has deffinatly become a convenience not a priority. But, again, I’m NOT giving up!   As for the rest of life my goals are to just pass all my classes and do as well as I can. School is my main focus.

 

Thanks to those of you who still check in from time to time! I will hopefully be able to resume regular blogging in the near future.

 

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

M

 

And just for fun here are a few pictures Smile

 

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379663_10150342235886149_505696148_8374987_811715968_n     381709_10150342429276149_505696148_8376589_1343580929_n2

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