Sunday, January 30, 2011

And that makes 60


Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion.You must set yourself on fire.
Arnold H. Glasow

I will reach my millage goal for January of 60 miles, I'm at 56 right  now and only have to complete 4 to make goal. As you can see from where I have tracked my mileage for the month it has been sporadic, but I was determined to finish. When I first set my goal I wanted to do most of it on the elliptical or running  and considered only counting my bike miles as half but I decided to just count a mile as a mile. The days where you see the bigger numbers are bike days or combo days where I did some of both. I kinda messed (ok no kinda about it)around for a couple weeks suddenly making this goal daunting as I began to run out of time. Classes started back and my winter class was wrapping up…at one point I had 3 papers to write in 5 days all for one class. Still I will be reaching my goal. I want to set the same goal for February but do less biking and work on consistency in the frequency of my workouts.

The last 2 weeks I have been doing an experiment with actually scheduling myself for Hot dates with Gym. Physically writing them down in my calendar and putting them in my Google calendar.   Big SHOCK! Being organized works …humph who knew lol! While I have changes and canceled a couple times with myself I felt much more obligated to go because I had scheduled it.Smile

 Another new thing this week is that I decided to join another gym. I have been working out at the REC at school. They have a great facility but some days its really hard to work in time there with my classes and get all of it done in time to be home for when my daughter gets out of school. Being that I already technically pay to go to the REC through my student fee’s I couldn’t see spending a lot on another gym membership. The Gold’s Gym near me is running this special for the month of January where all you have to pay is $1 down, you get 2 months free and then its only $19.99 a month….AND THEY HAVE CHILD CARE!!! The child care alone is worth $20! I worked out there the first time on Friday night and I love it!!! They have this awesome fitness studio with bikes and elliptically that always has a movie playing, is nice and cool and they keep darkened quite a bit so you can see the movie. Now I still put some rocking tunes on but I also watched the movie. Friday was Fever Pitch Smile. So I'm in there peddling my little heart out rocking out to some Girl Talk trying to make my goal of 10 miles for the day and guess what happened …I was so into it and no where near my usual time it takes to do this (55 min’s) that I breezed right on past 10 and ended up doing 14 miles Friday night! How sweet is that!

Now all that is great but on a side not this week was one hell of a week… very busy and emotional. On top of my winter class wrapping up and all the papers that entailed I have all my other classes and a bunch of extra stuff I'm doing for school. Last semester did not go as well as I wanted so to make sure I do well this term I have signed up for tutoring in my hardest class and I'm working with someone to help me improve my study skills that I also meet with once a week. I also am taking a class that had the option to either do weekly journal assignments or have 3 sessions with our counseling center. I choose the later…who cant use some counseling and you cant beat free. I had my first session Thursday which brought up a lot of emotions. I knew it would where I'm still trying to cope with the loss of my Father last year among some other things. So while the exercise is getting more on track my emotions were all over the place this week and I'm still working on not using food as a comfort source. Some days went well some didn’t and my water consumption sucked. Between those things there was no loss this week which is disappointing. Hopefully these sessions I have to go to will help me continue to get this more in check. This journey is not just a physical one it is an emotional one as well. As long as you keep working on both you can make it but you cant work on one and not the other.

This January goal makes me realize even more that I need deadlines…goal lines…finish lines. I work better under the pressure of a time constraint so I decided It was time again to try to find a half marathon I want to do. In case you forgot my goal is to complete a half marathon before my 30th birthday, June 14th. I had some trouble finding marathons in NC but finally found a website that has several listed and I think I have decided which one I want to do! I haven't registered yet but it’s looking like my best option is going to be the Downhill @ Dawn half marathon on June 4th. It takes place near Black Mountain here in NC and is mostly on a slight down hill. There was one here in the city I live in but it was mostly on trails, which I can so see me breaking an ankle on lol. I may also pre-game by doing the Spartan race down in Charlotte, NC which is only 8 miles but is through an obstacle course and looks wicked fun!!!(not sure right now though as it has a supper hi registration feeSad smile ) Still getting some less than inspiring receptions to the idea of me doing this, which is to be expected I guess. This is so out of my norm and for most people who really wants to do a half marathon right lol. I really want this though so even if I have to crawl across the finish line I want to do this!
Ok, enough rambling haha  

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

Sunday, January 23, 2011


“Bad choices yesterday.
Do not control what I do today.
Only I control what I do today.”

This morning when I took my blog stroll and got to 263 and counting it really hit home. Tara talked about how this Journey should come with a warning label and how much this is an emotional journey as well as a physical one. While I am not at the same place as her trying to tackle maintenance I am in a very familiar place for me, the 190’s. The 190’s for me are like and old friend that is familiar and you don’t really like that much but for whatever reason you keep them around.  I have camped out here way to many times. Life seems to change when I go lower than that and I feel extra like shit when im over that range. I know its just the outside that is different but I still have to deal with the inside who has used all these layers of protection for far to long. Emotional…you betcha! Scary, yep…which for someone who hasn't been there makes no sense at all why in the world would loosing weight be scary?

Here is the deal for me why it is scary… When I go below this range life for me seems to change, I can do more, I get ask out on dates more, my confidence goes up. For whatever reason when I look back over the last 15 years when I have been below this major things have happened in my life, mostly relationship wise. Yes doing more, getting ask out more and better confidence are all good things but sometimes the results of those are scary or intimidating.  When I don’t  have all those extra pounds to hide behind I have to deal with me and letting people in to see the real me. The fat cant be an excuse, The walls of protection are a lot thinner. Yes, these walls need to come down but with that also comes the fear of getting hurt or failure.

We all have reasons we got where we are, no one just says one day “Oh I think ill gain some weight just for fun”. Something got us here…comfort foods, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, laziness..the list goes on. Its not the same for everyone why we are where we are but a the same time it is. That is why this journey has to be an emotional one not just a physical one. If we just  treat the outside and don’t deal with the inside even if we do reach our physical goals all the screwed up stuff on the inside will still be there. Not working on all that inside stuff I can guarantee you will land you right back where you started on the outside, if not worse.

My weight for me has been one way I keep people out or distance them, men in particular. I may say “well they should love me for who I am, no matter my weight” and put on a good front of loving myself but in reality when you dig through all the layers and walls that’s just what it is… a front. If you know me at all in real life I can put up a GREAT front! I am amazing at acting like everything is fine. That also is another defense mechanism. If I act like everything is fine and that im happy no one will know the reality right?

263 and counting Warning label
My point in all this ramble is deal with the inside and it will get you to your outside goals too. I am a constant work in progress my insides are a lot better than they were a few days weeks years ago. I am more comfortable with the inside me today than I have been in a long time but there is still much work to be done on both the outside and the inside in this Life Changing Journey.

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

Saturday, January 22, 2011

It works if you work it…

Look at those yellow highlights :) Me time!
 “Keep coming back, It works if you work it!”
Bill W., AA Big Book

No, I’m not in AA but if you have ever seen a movie that has an AA meeting in it, know someone who is in AA, are in AA yourself you have probably heard this. I grew up with a mother and father who were alcoholics and my mother was very active in AA from the time I was about 13 until she passed with over 10 years sobriety so I have sat in on a fair share of meetings. It was what worked for her, saved her life and gave us a real relationship for the first time ever before she passed. My point to all this is that if you do what you know you need to do it will work. We have all these tools around us that can and will help we just have to use them. 
Right now is all about me for the first time in …well I’m not sure when the last time was. I’m putting me first and taking care of me. I’m also attempting this new thing called time management in hopes of becoming more organized and having less procrastination. Last week I took the time to break out my organizer I never use and put all my classes in as well as assignments due…I also added all this to my Google calendar and even figured out how to sync it to my phone! (I was pretty excited about this syncing to my phone business lol). In addition to school stuff I decided to try scheduling my hot dates with Gym…see all those yellow highlighted area’s that say GymSmile! I made 3 out of 4 of those yellow area’s! The only reason yesterday’s didn’t happen was because I had forgotten that my child was out of school so I had to take her with me to class and then I donated blood yesterday afternoon, so I can live with missing yesterday. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday though I had some awesome dates with Gym. I even had a friend go with me on Wednesday!  I put in 16 miles and even managed to get in some weights. Who knew being organized worked haha!
I did finally hop on the scale earlier in the week just to see where I was at and when I weighed this morning I have lost 3.2 lbs this week and I have burned 1,900 calories! What does all this tell me…It tells me that scheduling me time works and I need to continue to do this. It tells me that if I put in the work ill see the results. Now of course I already knew no work = no results, but scheduling myself makes me feel more obligated to ME to do what I said I would.

Current weight: 195.8 lbs
Loss this week: 3.2
Total loss: 28 lbs

Goal’s for this week:
  • continue scheduling me time
  • 4 workouts
  • maintain H2O goal

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

Sunday, January 16, 2011


desk_calendarDecide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.
H. L. Hunt
Action expresses priorities.
Mohandas Gandhi

Ok so it’s a 2 quote kinda day Smile

I’m not a planner I'm a spontaneous do’er. Those who know me well know that I pretty much suck at long term plans but I'm up for about anything spur of the moment. I will have all these grand things I want to do but instead of taking the time to put plans into place to get me to these goals ill just kinda fly by the seat of my pants and hope it all works out. Sometimes it does, sometimes it does not. Lately even though im not a big Dr. Phil person I keep hearing his voice when he says “How’s that workin for ya?” To which honestly most of the time I would have to answer that it’s not. Change is hard, we all fight change.

Last semester at school for me was a big wake up call. I am clearly used to classes at a community college not university classes. If you have never been to a university you might think whats the difference they are both college classes, well there is a HUGE difference. It is kinda like comparing high school classes to community college classes. The CC classes they still hold your hand a little, let you slide on some things ect. You get none of this at university, now some of this may be where im taking some upper level classes that are in my major but still you better show up ready to play or your out of the game. How does all this fit into my healthiness journey you ask? Well without planning school out I run out of time and leave myself no time to work on me. This makes me feel scattered and gets  me no where…in school and in my personal life.

What am I going to do about it? Well its time to turn into one of those people who makes list, keeps a calendar…and actually uses them! I am going to try scheduling my time, not just classes but almost everything. Classes, workout times, homework times ect…in addition to my usual things like Doctor appointments or whatever. I have my handy dandy little calendar out  and im going to block out time for all my priorities. I also will be putting it all on my virtual calendar because lets face it I need things in several places so that I cant loose them, as well as alarms to remind me!

Wow, I really thought this was going to be a short and sweet post, man am I long winded sometimes! haha

Ok now for a bit of an update if you have stuck around this long….

Workouts have not been happening. All last week we were snowed in and I have not reached the lets do a workout at home stage, I still need to go somewhere. My water challenge with Lindsey is still going on for another couple weeks and lets just say I do not have a perfect score on my daily totals.  If it wasn’t for the new water bottle I found on clearance at Kohl's a couple weeks ago that holds exactly 64oz there wouldn’t be much tracking going on most days. Yes of course I want to win but really this is about making this a habit in my life.  I’m still not keeping soda’s in the house but will get one if I am out and about. No actual weigh in today because well, I sat down drinking my coffee before I thought about doing a weigh in…I can tell the last time I weighed a couple days ago I was still right where I have been. No surprise there, you don’t get results when you don’t do the work to get those results.

Goals for now
  • drink my water
  • get to the gym 4 days this week
  • plan out my time and stick to my plan as much as possible

Peace Love and Happy Blogging

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Stay tuned...

Please stay tuned for your regularly scheduled blogging .....

How CUTE is this!!! Snuggle buddies :)

Classes have started back for me this week as well as having a sick child all last week and my winter class wrapping up so im doing a bit of adjusting to my new schedule. All of my crazy words of wisdom I just know you cant live without will return shortly lol

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging

Sunday, January 2, 2011

And so it begins…

Well hello there 2011, It’s nice to see yaa ..come on in!


“Our intention creates our reality.”

Wayne Dyer




Ok I know I usually put all this at the end after I say some witty stuff that may or may not make sense but Im mixing it up a little today Smile with tongue out


First official weigh in for 2011: 198.6lbs

Last year this time: 224ish lbs. (I know it was at least this high and I wasn’t on speaking terms with the scale)

Total 2010 loss: 25lbs

Mood: GAME ON!

Short term goals: (January)

Long term goals: (by June 14, 2011)

    • Run a Half Marathon (13.6 miles) !!!


Ok …on to my usual ramble that may or may not make sense haha! Lets start with my quote today “Our intention creates our reality”…Some would argue the “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” and it very well may be, my intentions my take me through hell to get where I'm going. Nothing worth having was ever easy, and I’ll see you on the other side!


Right now that little whisper that started last year is a deafening roar saying “YOU CAN DO THIS!” Will it stay this loud..well probably not, but while it is it’s the perfect time to get busy and get back in the swing of things. Get a routine going again and gain some momentum.  Since most of my weight loss success last year happened in the first half of the year and Life Off the D List didn’t start until August lets revisit what got me there the first 6 months of last year…What was different?


It’s simple, I ate less/better and moved more...period. While I was not tracking my food really or on any specific diet I just tried to eat less and eat better. I still had what I wanted just more in moderation. The thing that really did it though was moving more. I was enrolled in a swimming for fitness class for credit at school. This meant that I was swimming laps for an hour 3 times a week. Yes some weeks I missed a class, but some I also stayed after and did more or came in on days I didn’t have class. This burns on average depending on what stroke your doing and how much effort your putting into it 600-1,000 calories an hour. That’s allot! Even eating still kinda crappy sometimes this still worked.

Being not the most organized person in the world I fight tracking my food. Yes being a Type 1 diabetic I have to count carbs but its not the same. I quickly look at carb count and how much I'm eating, put it in my pump, bolus and that’s it. To bad insulin delivery isn't based on calorie intake instead of carb count this would make my life much easier lol. But then again that just goes to show you a calorie is not a calorie is not a calorie. It matters what we eat. 15 carbs of one thing might be 100 calories and 15 carbs of another might be more than twice that. That being said I know when I'm eating something healthier even if I don’t count the calories…and I know when I'm having crazy amounts of carb input going on that I'm not eating how I should.


Keeping all this in mind my focus for January, not 2011, lets just start with January is to eat less/better move more. I don’t like New Years Resolutions, no one keeps them. Each day is a new start, a new beginning and a chance to get it right that day. No every day wont be perfect but as long as you try every day and keep going that’s what really matters.


Peace, Love and Happy Blogging


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