Withdrawal and projection are the natural outcomes of withholding. When you withhold, you keep inside yourself things that should be expressed. The very act of hiding these things takes you one step back from the relationship. A result of this withdrawal is that you will begin to project. In other words, you will begin to attribute to other people things that are actually issues of your own.
Gay & Katie Hendricks Quotes from Conscious Loving
Have you ever sat and thought about if you truly love yourself or some days if you even like yourself? Probably not, this is one of those questions many of us try to avoid on this journey. There is usually some traumatic event or person from out past that made us not feel worthy of our own love. Even today we find ourselves still trying to please that person or hide from that life changing event to the point that we place blame solely on ourselves and withhold self love.
We keep our Mother, Father, Lover, Friend or Sibling high up on that pedestal because it would be selfish to put ourselves up there for once, right? Wrong! Sometimes we need to put ourselves first. We need to make ourselves a priority. Since I began this journey I have been working on doing this for myself. Not because I want to be selfish or others don’t matter but because for the first time I see that I matter. This has not gone over well with everyone and in fact led to the end of a long "friendship”. I put friendship in quotes because, really that is not what a friend is. A true friend or someone who really loves you and is there through thick and thin. They accept you for your shortcomings and understand when you need to do things for yourself and for once not put them first. If trying to work on me and better myself truly makes me selfish then so be it, I’m selfish.
As a self proclaimed people pleaser I sometimes forget that this is ok. That the people who truly love me will understand that Im taking time to work on me and support me while I’m doing it. Instead I worry about failure and what they will think if I don’t succeed. Really though if you cant love yourself and do whatever you need to do to be the best you those people are never going to really know the real you. You have to love and be happy with yourself before you can focus on making other’s happy.
You are worth loving, I am worth loving. It dosent matter if we weigh 500 pounds or 120 pounds, look like a model or just the average Joe/Jane, tall, short…whatever we all deserve to have love in our lives, be loved and love ourselves.
Just some food for thought. What have you done to love yourself today?
Peace, Love and Happy Blogging