Thursday, January 12, 2012

Fighting for ME!


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Chalene Johnson posted this on facebook yesterday and it kind of woke me up. It reminded me why I'm working so hard.  In case you didn't know I recently decided to take a break from school and get back into the work force. This decision was not received well by all of those close to me. Some chose to see this as me giving up or not sticking with something. This was  not the case. This was a very hard decision for me, the last year and a half in school has been nothing short of a disaster. It’s really hard to admit that but well, it is what it is at this point. The loss of my father left me feeling very isolated and alone. I have fought depression harder in this past year and a half than ever before . Thankfully, with the help of friends, a therapist and the right medications, I have have finally come out of that deep dark place. In all honesty most people had no idea I was that depressed or even depressed at all. I’m a champion at hiding my feelings.  The truth is they have no idea how lucky I am to still be here today. I teetered very far over that edge and somehow just at the last moment managed to pull back, asking for help. I feel like I have undergone a major transformation from last October until now.

Because I had shut myself off so much not everyone knew this change was going on. I was judged for who I was, not who I am becoming, by some. My decision to leave school was hard, but it came down to what was right for me, not what everyone else thought was right for me. I am not giving up on school. I plan on starting back in the fall with one class online. I will still finish and reach that goal, it will just take a bit longer. In the mean time it’s time for me to get back into the workforce. Once I made the decision about school I immediately began filling out job applications like a mad woman. When I say I was filling out applications I mean with a vengeance.  In this last month I have filled out literally hundreds of applications. Everything from Walmart to really BIG substantial jobs. While I have had a lot of activity and several interviews, alas I still am part of the unemployed.

The good news is that the resume hits I have gotten here recently and interviewed for are for AWESOME positions. I should know about one, maybe 2 big opportunities next week! I’m nervous and excited all at one time. You see along with depression came a lack of self confidence. Thankfully I feel this coming back over these last few months. I feel like ME again. Finally!

I am fighting for what I want!

Fight for YOU!

Peace, Love and Happy Blogging
M

2 comments:

  1. So glad that you have been fighting and are continuing to do so... My hubs has depression and it has been a rough few month for us do glad you are on the up swing

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  2. I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. I know how difficult coming through the other side of depression can be. And to be able to do that and understand what you need to do to look after you and what you want is fierce. I'm cheering you on! BIG time! xo

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